
Car Park Capital: MicroProse is publishing a game about bulldozing neighbourhoods for tarmac
Hired by Big Auto to spread the Freedom of Car Dependency. It is funny, it is mean, and it sits at 96 per cent positive.

The ship is sumptuous because somebody else modelled it. Around it, a game that drops you through the floor after five metres.
Alexandrosse
InsertCoins.press Score
4/10
Verdict
Disappointing
Correction, 26 August 2026. The first version of this review presented Vintage Digital Revival as a co-developer of the game, and concluded from that that the Titanic: Honor and Glory team was working on it. That is inaccurate, a reader flagged it and they were right. On checking, VDR sold a licence on its models of the liner; the studio did not take part in development. The "developer" credit shown on the Steam page greatly overstates that relationship. The score drops from 7 to 4 and the relevant passages have been rewritten, taking into account the game's reception since launch.
Let us deal with the title first, because the laughter has to come out. Titanic Escape Simulator. We know how it ends, we know how many lifeboats there were, and somebody still wrote the word simulator.
The game takes itself seriously. And the story of how it was made is more interesting than the crossing it offers.

No need to buy a guide, here is one on the house.
There is room for two on the door. There was always room for two on the door.
Take the key to the binocular locker before you leave. Icebergs are hard to spot through a cupboard door.
Do not sail too fast. At full steam you dodge less well.
And do not let the captain dine too late. A captain at the table is a captain who is not on the bridge.
There, that one is on me. Now the real subject, because it is more interesting than my joke.
This is not a race against the water. It is an investigation.
14 April 1912. You are a private investigator aboard. What begins as a routine crossing turns darker: a suspicious death, clues, locked rooms, restricted decks, and a case buried somewhere in the ship. You question passengers, you search, you follow a trail that descends from First Class into the corridors below.
Then the iceberg arrives, and the investigation becomes something else. Corridors tilt, lights fail, water rises. What you have uncovered and who you choose to save become the same question.
The structure is good, and it solves the problem the community raised at announcement: four days of crossing and two hours of sinking do not make a game. Putting an investigation in the quiet part and detonating it at the moment of impact is the obvious answer, and nobody had proposed it.
The puzzles are good. Not tortuous, not gratuitous, built on the geography of the ship: you want a key, you work out where it might be, you go. That is the right measure for a game whose first wish is that you look around.

That is the first thing that strikes you. The ship is sumptuous, Unreal Engine is used with taste rather than ostentation, and the First Class interiors have that grain of material that makes you stop to look at a staircase rail.
And there is a very precise reason for that, which I had not understood when writing the first version of this review.
Rewind a year.
In 2025 a PlayStation Store listing appears for something called Titanic Escape Simulator. It goes viral. Then people look closely, and every image is AI-generated. So is the trailer. Dexerto, gamepressure and AllKeyShop run headlines saying the game is fake. It is noted that the name listed as publisher had put out around twenty titles that year, most with generated cover art and bought assets. On the forums the verdict lands: it is vapour, it will never ship, and if it does it will look nothing like this.
One comment summed up the mood: I will stick to Titanic: Honor and Glory and just admire the beauty of the ship.
Titanic: Honor and Glory is the mad project of Vintage Digital Revival, in development since 2012. A complete reconstruction of the liner, room by room, carried out with historians, collectors, period plans and analysis of the wreck. The absolute reference on the subject, the one everybody cites.
Look at the Steam page for Titanic Escape Simulator. Vintage Digital Revival is listed as a developer, alongside magicprostudio.
Except that credit does not mean what it appears to, and I was wrong to read it at face value. Asked about it by the community, the studio replied that the game uses licensed Titanic assets from VDR, specifying that Titanic Escape Simulator has its own gameplay systems and that only the ship comes from VDR's reconstruction.
Translation: VDR sold a licence on its models. VDR did not make this game.
That changes everything. The ship is sumptuous because it was modelled over fourteen years by people who did not work on the rest. And listing a supplier of scenery as a developer on a store page implies an endorsement that does not exist. Several players have noted that the interiors are those of the Titanic: Honor and Glory demo, and that you can walk the same ship for free in Project 401, distributed by VDR.

Once the scenery is set aside, the game remains.
And the execution does not follow. Player reports since launch are damning and consistent: textures that fail to load, missing character faces, broken lighting, black screens, crashes. One player describes going through the floor after five metres of walking and sinking for two thousand metres. Characters are described as wax figures talking past each other, and the voice acting is widely judged synthetic. A historian who contributes to Titanic research writes that it plays like a very early beta rather than a finished product.
The reception reflects it: across nearly three hundred reviews, a little under two thirds are positive, placing the game at a mixed rating.
The subject remains delicate. Fifteen hundred dead, mostly in Third Class, turned into the backdrop of a video game demands tact. The game manages by choosing investigation and moral choice over an obstacle course, and by not chasing a cheap thrill. That will not silence everyone, and rightly so.
And length is the question mark. An investigation, a sinking, branching paths: the question is how long it holds and whether you make the crossing again to see the other endings.

One thing in what I wrote remains true: this ship is magnificent and walking it is genuinely moving.
The problem is that the ship does not belong to this game. It was built elsewhere, by other people, over fourteen years, and it can be visited for free in Project 401. What Titanic Escape Simulator adds around it is an investigation whose idea was good, and an execution that breaks the moment you step off the intended corridor.
Paying sixteen euros to fall through the floor of a set you can tour for nothing is not a bargain.
I stand by the view that the narrative structure was clever on paper, and that an investigation before the collision was the right answer to the problem of the subject. But you do not review an intention, you review what runs on the machine.
Are you boarding or staying ashore? We are discussing it on the InsertCoins Discord, and the door question is still open there.
Community
Your rating
Advertisement
Loading comments...
You might also like

Hired by Big Auto to spread the Freedom of Car Dependency. It is funny, it is mean, and it sits at 96 per cent positive.

You get a form and a description. Go find the item. In a warehouse you organised yourself.

A frozen world that refuses survival cliches. But in co-op, one player can do the whole questline while the others sleep.